he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
