Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
