Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
