either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
