In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize