this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize