He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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