LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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