Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
