help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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