How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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