Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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