Buhtt sex?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
