worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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