Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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