Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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