You're my little dorito
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Did I show you my penis last night?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
