you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
