Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize