areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
