yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
