I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
