Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
