Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
