we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
