Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm jealous of your bromance
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
