I think i peed on brittanys purse
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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