You really coming over, don't trick.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize