At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
