I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
