Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
