we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
