last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize