We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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