I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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