im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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