I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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