Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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