I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
