He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
