Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
