so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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