that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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