wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
