just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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