every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
