I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
