i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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