i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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