His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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