EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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