i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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