id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
