So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize
