the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
