i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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