I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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