one might say we're banned from that church
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
