Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
