Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Boobs speak an international language.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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