On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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