I don't remember. Are we still dating?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
