I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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