I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
