Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
