I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
