So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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